Piling my No’s up to my Nose
1. Who, What, When, Where
In my apartment I have a Goal Wall. This wall is simple: I have music career goals written on notebook paper and taped to the wall, one goal per page. I look at this list every day to remind myself what I want to do. Some of these are time-based, such as “play 100 shows in 2018.” Some involve other people. “Open for Regina Spektor.” Many are geographically-based. “Play Lollapalooza “ and “Headline First Ave.” I look at this wall every day to lay out clear goals for myself.
I try, I fail, I try again, succeed once in a while, try again, fail, and so on. Arguably more important than my goal wall is its ugly stepchild: The No Wall. On this wall I print out letters of people who tell me no, or say they went another direction, or the times they didn’t even respond. Or pictures of projects that didn’t come to fruition. If I’m not failing often, I’m probably not trying hard enough. So the bigger my rejection wall, the easier it is for me to visualize the effort I’m puttig in.
This, in my creative expression, is the most important question to ask constantly in the search for positive, concrete human development. The answer to this question is where I find meaning in everything.
I’ll use two of my go-to lyrics in summary:
Macklemore: “In a small club in Minnesota, and the snow outside of First Ave, I just wanted my name in a star”
Eminen: “Music is like magic, there’s a certain feeling you get when you’re real and you spit and people are feeling your shit.”